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Being a good listener is vital to the relationships in your life. In order to become a better listener, you will need to consider a few new approaches. Here are a few steps to help you be more attentive when others are speaking:
• Simply listen more and talk less. By dominating a conversation, you neglect to give others a chance to comment and discuss the topics you present. What’s the point of involving others in your conversation if you do not allow for their input? You might as well be talking to yourself.
• Your body language tells others exactly how you feel about the conversation without you saying a word. Practicing good non-verbal communication/body language is a great way to show interest and let people know you are truly involved in the conversation. Being attentive, leaning into the speaker, nodding occasionally to let them know you understand and keeping eye contact are just a few ways of showing interest through body language. It may take a little practice if you are not used to it, but you will get the hang of it.
• In this technological world, it is important not to let your electronic gadgets become a distraction during conversations. It seems obvious, but there are still those people who will begin texting or even answer a phone call in the middle of a conversation. Put your phone away unless you want people to assume you would rather be talking to someone else while you are spending time with them.
• Be sure to keep an open mind. You do not have to agree with everyone’s opinions, but you do need to remain respectful. It is very easy to judge and react in a negative way to others’ opinions if they differ from yours. Again, pay attention to your body language in these situations and try to keep it interested or neutral. Although you may not say aloud that you disagree, your body language may show your true opinion.
• Removing distractions is extremely important. Turn down the radio, TV or anything else that could distract you from your conversation. You want to be able to truly focus on the person who is speaking to you.
• Do not interrupt or “one up” the conversation with your own story in your attempts to relate to the speaker. You should be listening to better understand the conversation, not waiting for a window to tell you own story and overshadow someone else’s experience.
• Last, but certainly not least, you should encourage the speaker. Ask them to elaborate by saying things like “That’s interesting! What did she do then?” and “Tell me more!”
Becoming a better listener is not as hard as it may seem. Like retraining yourself in anything, it may take a little practice to break those bad listening habits. Try to remain conscious of your actions and simply listen to what others say. You may find you’ve been missing more than you originally thought. |
